Life is too damn short. That’s all I have to say about that.
Month: April 2001 (Page 6 of 7)
I’m proud to say that I’ve spread my hatred of “Touched by an Angel” to Australia, where Jeb runs a site called www.bullshitarti.st. You can make nominations to the page, and I was happy when he accepted mine. His main site, World Wide Jeb, is my current favorite weblog, even though it’s more of an essay collection. Some of the funniest writing I’ve read on the web in ages – check it out.
Don’t miss: 224 Things For You To Boycott
Did you ever have a song that made you smile every time you heard it? For me, that’s “Hello Grandma” by Lyle Lovett. The lyrics are so sly and his delivery is amazing. Due to the fact that I shelled out my own money for the CD that contained this song, I offer it up to you as a gift. Come and get me, RIAA.
This reminds me of my favorite “minority” story, told to me by a friend who worked for a restaurant with several locations (the names have been withheld to protect both the guilty and the innocent). At the managers’ meeting, one manager related a new hire:
Manager 1: She’s a wonderful Oriental woman. I think she’ll work out great.
Manager 2 (nudging Manager 1):…you mean, ‘Asian.’
Manager 1: No, I really think she’s Oriental.
So a 12-year-old sets himself on fire while emulating a stunt he saw on MTV’s “Jackass.” Then he’s interviewed by Entertainment Weekly:
‘ “I don’t blame myself, I kind of blame the show,” says Hitz, whose family has decided not to sue MTV. ‘
While a show that prides itself on stunts like jumping on a barbecue grill while wearing a flame-retardant suit covered in raw steaks has little to recommend it, this kind of comment is infuriating. A 12-year-old apparently doesn’t have the presence of mind to understand why setting yourself on fire might not be the best idea, and his parents are magnanimous enough not to sue. Well bully for them. Maybe they should concentrate on their kid, who obviously has more problems than what he watches on cable TV.
Bad movies we love:
The Temp, on cable last night. Lara Flynn Boyle, her hair piled up on her head like a giant Cinnabon, begins the movie by tricking her predecessor into jamming his hand into a paper shredder, and ends it with a fight to the death with Faye Dunaway. There’s also Timothy “just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you” Hutton, and Maura Tierney from NewsRadio doing her best impression of a poor man’s Demi Moore. What more could you ask for? Well, how about that the corporate action takes place at a cookie company, and the final confrontation takes place in a cookie factory? Good stuff.
Apparently Trent Lott likes cockfighting. (I’m not going to touch that one. So to speak.)
“The phrase ‘Think outside the box’ is the box.”
-Management consultant Paul D. Harrison
Deciding to take a break from the computer is like not thinking about elephants.
I think this is an April Fool’s joke. If not, I want one.