Month: May 2002 (Page 3 of 5)

Shocking pop culture admission: the other day I watched Star Wars Episode I on DVD again, to prepare myself for Episode II – and I didn’t hate it. I didn’t really particularly like anything about it, but I didn’t have that white-hot hatred any more. I accepted that it was an OK, if overcomplicated and stilted, telling of the origins of Anakin Skywalker.

But as I’m writing this now, all the bad stuff is coming back to me: the Trade Federation jargon, Jar Jar, have-no-idea-who-he-is-and-now-he’s-cut-in-half Darth Maul, Anakin’s cries of “Yippee!”, stupid midi-chlorians, and on and on.

I’ve said this many times before, but George Lucas has absolutely forgotten what made the original films so good. They were simple, fun, swashbuckling, pulpy adventures. Movie serials for the new age. In contrast, Episode I was like Star Wars made by a committee of robots.

People say Episode II is better. I hope so.

Did you know that Cap’n Crunch Peanut Butter Crunch (the cereal they eat on Mount Olympus) actually has fewer calories than a lot of those “healthy” cereals?

No need to thank me.

We have a winner!

After much deliberation here at the words mean things home office in Tempe, AZ, the winner of the tagline contest has been chosen:

Kevin Thompson of Oregon, WI!

Kevin used my well-known fondness for The Simpsons’ Dr. Nick Riviera to come up with the winning entry. Congratulations, Kevin! And thanks to all who entered.

‘Alias’ season finale

In a word, underwhelming. Especially because of the fun, well-written rollercoaster ride we’ve been treated to over this freshman season. Ron Rifkin and Amy Irving’s scene together, played in pantomime, was the highlight of an otherwise routine outing. I think it was a mistake to have all Sydney’s worlds collide so soon in the series. But I’m looking forward to where they take me next year.

And I’m so glad my mother isn’t a Russian underworld kingpin.

…or is she?

L.A. Law Reunion Movie

I only watched the first hour – it was that bad. And I was actually looking forward to it. It reminded me of those stage shows where people simulate episodes of the Brady Bunch – except in this case, the characters were played by the same actors.

Aging is hell.

This is just too funny. I bet if you put a Michael Bolton CD in the drive, the computer catches on fire.

Of course, there’s a serious point here about how boneheaded copy protection on CDs is. But I don’t feel particularly serious right now.

First Annual Words Mean Things Tagline Contest

I was thinking today I should change my tagline, since the current one has been up for some time. But after not being able to come up with anything that great, I thought, why not let my readership (hello, you two!) come up with something?

Put your suggested words mean things tagline in the comments. In a few days I’ll pick the best one, and it will be the tagline for at least a week. Aren’t you excited? Remember, it has to be short enough to fit in the space below the logo.

Those marketing geniuses at Pepsi (yes, I’m channeling Jerry Seinfeld) have come up with their latest heir to Crystal Pepsi, Pepsi Blue.

Yeah, that’ll be a huge hit.

Reminds me of the Simpsons episode (but then again, what doesn’t?) where Homer passes a vending machine selling something meant to be Crystal Pepsi and gurgles, “Mmmmmm…….invisible cola!”

Words to live by. And nice drawings too.

I know it’s their (low-paying, low-respect, no-future) job, so I can’t really get that upset with the actual telemarketers. Usually.

Me: Hello?
Drone (loudly): Can I speak to the owner of [unintelligible]?
Me (thinking this is some sort of misdirected business call, nicely): I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number.
Drone (angrily): No, I have the right number. Your number is 294-etc.
Me (momentarily shocked): OK, Yes?
Drone (back to regular monotone): I’m calling from MCI…..

If only I had had one of those little air horns to blow into the phone. Where can I get one of those?