Month: August 2002 (Page 5 of 6)

If Kelly Clarkson doesn’t win “American Idol,” it will be a crime. Case closed. She took the difficult Big Band theme and absolutely hit it out of the park. No one else could even approach her performance tonight.

And I really don’t want to see “Sideshow Bob” Guarini’s smarmy face ever again. I can hope.

I was watching an old “ER” rerun on cable this morning, where Dr. Mark Greene treats a patient with lung cancer. Afterwards, after weeks of trying to quit smoking, he flushes his pack down the toilet, presumably for good. I found myself saying to the TV, “You’re going to die of a brain tumor in a few years. Have a cigarette if you want.”

Does that make me a bad person?

Happy Birthday, Dad.

When they’re making $20,000 from a classified ad, what are they selling – crack?

I had an idea for a web project today. The concept is, you order items sold on infomercials. Then you write detailed reviews of the products – how much they really cost, how they compare with similar items sold through regular channels, etc. You compare the claims made in the show with the actual product, using their own words against them.

With “make money fast” products, which seem to be crowding out other stuff, you would rate the quality of the information, and also tell people where they could get the same information online or in the library.

Call it “Infomercial Junkie” or some such. I bet you could get some publicity for it, as well, considering how we’re being overrun by advertising of all kinds.

My new favorite weblog: When Panics Attack! Andy has probably the best weblog sidebar ever. The rest of it’s pretty good, too.

Watched the Anna Nicole Smith reality show on E! last night (and a fair amount of the True Hollywood Story on her before that). It was sort of sad. She spent about 90 percent of the time appearing to be zoned out on painkillers or whatever she’s taking these days. She’s probably not such a bad sort when she’s sober and not slathered in 10 pounds of eyeshadow and hair gel. But watching Vickie Lynn Hogan pick out curtains at Wal-Mart isn’t what makes for the ratings, is it?

Combatting lateness

After years of dealing with chronically-late friends and colleagues, I’ve come up with some simple tips to help stamp out this inconsiderate trend. These ideas have helped me retain my sanity in the face of the global lateness epidemic.

-Never agree to meet anywhere. Make them come pick you up. If they’re late (which they most certainly will be), you’ll be at home instead of cooling your heels outside a movie theater or restaurant. Picking them up is a close second, but they can still outfox you by cleverly not being ready, and you’re still left waiting. It’s all a matter of control.

-If meeting somewhere is unavoidable, set a relatively short threshold of time you will wait – mine is usually 20 minutes. If they are late past that time, get up and leave. Just one of these refusals to wait can have a magical effect on the chronically late.

-Late people want to explain to you why they’re late. It’s always something. You begin to wonder, how come the stars always align against them? Cut them off. No need to listen to their excuses – it just makes them feel better and you more irritated.

-Whatever you do, don’t register unhappiness or impatience with the late. That’s what they want – to get a reaction out of you. Ignoring them is the best strategy, both for your mental health and to show them their actions aren’t all that important after all.

Lovely & Amazing

When’s the last time you went to a movie and when it was over, wished that you could stay with the characters just a little while longer? It happened to me with this movie. Wonderful stuff. And with movie dialogue being so mannered, slick or just stupid these days, it’s refreshing to watch a movie where people talk like people really talk. A breath of fresh air in this sweltering summer.

You May Already Be A Winner!

Because of a mixup with my Amazon wish list, I’m now in possession of two copies of “The Royal Tenenbaums” on DVD. Rather than return one, I’ve decided to give the two-disk set (plus shipping to the continental U.S.) to a lucky reader. Just write, in 100 words or less, why you deserve this amazing prize – either in the comments or directly by e-mail to me. I’ll pick the winner next Friday. Good luck.