Month: March 2003 (Page 3 of 8)

Michael Moore for President

Asked backstage why he made the remarks, Moore answered: ?I’m an American.?

?Is that all?? a reporter asked.

?Oh, that’s a lot,? Moore responded.

-from wire stories on Moore’s talk with reporters after the Oscars

If I hear one more person say about Moore or Natalie Maines or whoever, “They wouldn’t have the freedom to say that in Iraq,” I swear I’m going to beat them senseless with a bag of oranges. What they really mean is, “We could use a little of that repression for these troublemaking peaceniks here,” and I’m sick to death of it. The fact that we have that freedom is supposed to be the reason we love this country so much, and are willing to roam around the world bombing people in order to preserve (and spread) it. Every hawk in this country should be celebrating Moore and Maines and Sarandon and me, for that matter. Because that’s what they say we’re fighting for.

Thoughts on Oscar

-I was so glad Pedro Almodovar won for his “Talk to Her” screenplay. It was challenging, subtle, ambiguous, adult – four things in short supply in Hollywood these days.

-“Chicago” is the perfect Academy movie. If there is a lab where middling, inoffensive, flashy pap is genetically engineered to appeal directly to Academy voters, this movie was its crowning achievement. Not bad, not good, just there.

-Catherine Zeta-Jones was lucky as hell to be in it.

-“Spirited Away” was another pleasant surprise. It took animation to places that Americans don’t normally experience. And, it gave Suzanne Pleshette some voice work.

-Michael Moore is Michael Moore. I think he should have handled himself with more subtlety, but that’s just not who he is. And I love him for it, especially in these “you’re either for us or against us” times.

-The opposite end of that spectrum was the now-apparently-infamous Susan Sarandon, who just held up two fingers in a peace sign as she walked out. Cool.

-“Punch-Drunk Love” was so far and away the best movie of last year, it’s not even funny. Which explains why you didn’t hear it mentioned tonight.

-In a sort of Halle-Berry-ish situation, I think Adam Sandler should have gotten a Best Actor nomination for the above. It was a time and a place and a role, and he was brillant.

-Steve Martin was generally good. I especially liked the Meryl Streep eBay joke – “Don’t you have enough!?”

-Every year they seem to pare it down more, and it’s still three and a half hours long. One thing they could definitely cut – getting all the Oscar winners onstage and laboriously panning through them. Cut this, please.

-Renee Zellweger: eat a hamburger, please, sweetheart. I love you, but you. need. to. eat. If some more tough love is required, I have just two words for you: Callista Flockhart. ‘Nuff said.

As a lover of type and typography, how can I resist type-related humor? (thanks to defective yeti)

No one is talking or thinking much about the Oscars, which are apparently going to go on as scheduled tomorrow night. That’s understandable. (I did like Jon Stewart’s joke that the red carpet has been downsized to “a crimson bathmat.”) Everything will be toned down and somber, which is also understandable. But I personally wouldn’t mind a real spectacle to allow me to take a break from the bleak thoughts that have dominated my consciousness this week. There’s so much more to say about this conflict, about the fate of our country and the world. But right now, I’m just tired. My brain hurts and my heart hurts worse. Making fun of Joan Rivers has never seemed so worthwhile.

It’s humor day here at words mean things

“Use nuclear strikes to defeat your enemies…but only as a last resort!”

-blurb on box for “SuperPower,” a world-simulation real-time-strategy game

Unintentionally funny quote of the week

“I’m definitely anti-war, but at the same time, we’re trying to live our lives here,” fumed Mark Thedis as he spent 30 minutes in his idling Range Rover in an alleyway off Folsom Street. “If they’re trying to get people on their side, it’s not working.”

-Angry citizen inconvenienced by anti-war protests in San Francisco Thursday

No wait, this one is good too

“Now, at a time of war, these people out here protesting are behaving like traitors,” said Russian immigrant Alexander Gosen. He spent the morning at Franklin and Fell streets waving a sign reading “Viva Bush” on one side and “Go to hell, peaceniks” on the other. “They should all be arrested. They don’t know what it’s like to live under a tyrant.”

More humor

“An hour? In other words, a war that could destroy the global order and cast a region of the Earth into chaos was discussed for as much time as it takes LensCrafters to make your bifocals.”

-Jon Stewart, on the length of the Azores summit (photos)

It seems to me there are two ways to go in dealing with this insanity without becoming insane. One is through eloquence and the other through humor. I’ll try anything at this point. (Links stolen from lies.com, which is becoming one of my favorite sites these days. Best. domain. ever.)

Now this is a corporate billboard I can love

I’ve written in the past about how I’m genetically incapable of being late, and the trouble it causes me. Most of my friends continue to be chronically late, and I’ve only recently understood that this is really my problem. I can’t change their behavior, only my reaction to it.

Last night, I was meeting my dear friend Patti at my old stomping grounds, WEAC, to take her to dinner with some other friends of ours. We were to meet at 5:30, and as usual, I was there about five minutes early. She was in the parking lot, waiting for me.

“I hope you weren’t there very long,” I said.

“No,” she said. “I just knew that you’re usually a little bit early, so I wanted to be here to meet you.”

Is there any doubt why I love Patti?