For all those misanthropes out there like me who enjoy watching fireworks but hate all the traffic and, let’s be honest, other people, here are some beautiful Flash fireworks, courtesy of a MetaFilter poster. Enjoy, and remember: it’s not called “Blind Obedience Day.”
Month: July 2003 (Page 8 of 8)
Happy 4th of July
This has been a tough year to be patriotic, if you ask me. As Andrew Shepherd (from Wisconsin!) said in The American President, “America is advanced citizenship. You’ve gotta want it bad, ’cause it’s gonna put up a fight.”
In honor of our country’s birth, I offer a companion piece to my “I am a liberal” from early last year.
I am an American.
I believe criticizing my government isn’t anti-American; it’s quintessentially American.
I believe you can love this country and still be vehemently opposed to its policies.
I believe all citizens deserve equal rights under the law. The words “all” and “equal” are non-negotiable.
I believe separating church and state doesn’t weaken religion; it strengthens it.
I believe “freedom of speech” means especially speech you don’t agree with.
I believe public institutions, like our schools, are crucial to our society because they remind us that we need each other.
I believe burning the American flag is political protest, not treason.
I believe every false cry of “treason” weakens our nation.
I believe there better be a damn good reason before the government starts spying on me.
I believe the government is answerable to the people, not the other way around.
I believe we should be celebrating our differences, not beating each other with them.
I believe diplomacy is at least as important as military might.
I believe unprovoked violence against other nations is fundamentally immoral.
I believe that corporate interests are not the same as American interests.
I believe we hold this nation’s environment in trust for future generations, so we better be careful with it. The same goes for our democracy.
I believe being the strongest nation in the world is a responsibility, not a license.
I am an American, and this is what it means to me.
(If you’re looking for something lighter today, Molly Ivins, bless her heart, has it for you.)
I wish I had as much inspiration and passion for my pay-the-bills work as I do for this site.
More than 65 U.S. troops have died in Iraq since the President said the war was over on May 1. The families of every dead and wounded soldier from that conflict should demand an apology from our Commander in Chief for his deplorable faux-cowboy posturing. This is sickening.
Meanwhile, the U.S. is withholding aid from countries who don’t want us to be exempt from war crimes charges in the International Criminal Court. The hits just keep on coming, people.
Today I was reading some of my own archives, and I was really entertained. Does that make me a bad person?
The Hulk
Wow. Where do I start with this one? I went back and forth between being bored and being incredulous (“How can it possibly be this bad?”) so many times I lost count. It was a study in contrasts. The script had many long, flat, earnest passages, and then would suddenly become incomprehensibly stupid. (The attack by the giant poodle, the rock monster section, and the “Whee! I can fly!” bounding come to mind for the second type, although the possibilities are legion. Like, say, any line delivered by Nick Nolte.)
The acting was at two poles too – the “What the hell am I doing?” award shared by Sam Elliott and (especially) Nick Nolte on the one hand, and the “I think I’m stoned but maybe I’m just bored” award shared by Eric Bana and (to a hilarious degree) Jennifer Connelly on the other. Connelly’s two emotions: blank stare, and blank stare (with single tear).
Amazingly, the one thing I *was* worried about, the look of the CGI Hulk, turned out to be the least of this movie’s problems. The big green guy looked OK, especially in the scene where Nolte reached up and touched his face – you could almost feel the squishiness of Hulk’s skin.
I could tell Ang Lee was really trying here, but I think that’s part of the problem. Everything was so achingly earnest, it killed any fun that might have been had around the edges of this colossal mess.
See at your own risk. And if you do, you might want to pack a lunch – this puppy is 2 hours 20 minutes.
Bob Harris’ “strange reader e-mail” page is pretty good, too.
Dockers SuperStretch commercial – first draft
[Fade in on science lab. Handsome DR. BRUCE BANNER sits before several computer screens, showing animated DNA etc. He swivels his chair to face the camera.]
BANNER
Hi. My name is Dr. Bruce Banner. I’m a genetic scientist, and normally I wouldn’t be endorsing a product on television. But I’ve got to tell you, Dockers SuperStretch are the best pants I’ve ever worn.
[Footage of Hulk rampages plays]
With my active lifestyle, I put some serious demands on my pants. But whether I’m dodging the bites of a genetic mutant poodle, deflecting helicopter-fired missiles, or battling my father, transformed into a giant rock monster, Dockers SuperStretch are with me every step of the way.
[Back to BANNER in the lab]
They’re comfortable, they move with me, and they have the stretch I need. I’m partial to purple, but they come in seven designer colors. They’re even stain-resistant and never need ironing!
[leaning sheepishly toward the camera]
And it doesn’t hurt that Betty thinks I look good in them.
[BETTY ROSS enters, crossing to sit on BANNER’S lap. She wraps her arms around his neck playfully.]
BETTY
Hi, sweetheart.
[She kisses him, then pulls back a little and smiles.]
Nice pants!
[FADE OUT]