Month: August 2003 (Page 3 of 6)

Idiot or liar?

“When a single individual combines ignorance, immorality, dry-drunk syndrome, a publicly proclaimed commitment to perpetual military domination of the entire world by his country, a publicly expressed belief that God personally instructs him to make war on specific countries and a wildly irrational born-again brand of Christianity that views the Battle of Armageddon and the consequent end of life on earth as desirable developments and, at the same time, has command authority over an arsenal of weapons of mass destruction more than sufficient to achieve the end of life on earth, it is difficult to argue that this individual is not the most dangerous person who has ever lived.”

-John Whitbeck, Arab News (via SmirkingChimp)

At breakfast today at Lazy Jane’s, I told John and Marty that I had spent a good chunk of last night watching Lindsay Wagner in “Scruples” on the WE channel. They both reared back a little, as if I had said something like, “My freezer is getting so full of the body parts of transients, I barely have any space left.”

The fact is, “Scruples” is a damn entertaining program that I had pretty much forgotten existed. It’s like “Dynasty” on crack, in mini-series form.

The interview game

THE RULES
1. Leave a comment, saying you want to be interviewed.
2. I will respond; I?ll ask you five questions.
3. You?ll update your website with my five questions, and your five answers.
4. You?ll include this explanation.
5. You?ll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

I got my interview questions from Miss Anthropy. (Thanks, Miss A. Great questions.)

1. What movie character would you most like to have an affair with?

This isn’t as easy as I thought it would be. I’ll go with Roland Bozz (Colin Farrell) in “Tigerland.” Bozz has a wild side that I think would be good for me, along with a basic sweet nature. Plus, he’s Colin Farrell, for god’s sake. Second choice – James Brolin’s character in “Westworld.”

2. What is the sound of one hand clapping?

I don’t know, but I think it has something to do with a tree falling in the woods.

3. What kind of animal would you most like to be?

For some reason I don’t understand, my first instinct was to say “koala.” Maybe it has something to do with munching on eucalyptus all day.

4. If you, Andrea, and Mrs. du Toit were the last people on Earth, with whom would you rather preserve the human race?

Do I *have* to? Sigh. Truthfully, if it were only the three of us left, I think maybe the smart thing would be to let the human race die.

5. What?s the most important quality a person should have?

That’s easy: a sense of humor. Everything else follows.

August is a pretty slow month on everybody’s weblogs, mine included. Sometimes I click on my own page and I can almost hear the tumbleweeds blowing by. In an effort to liven things up around here, I offer the first annual Words Mean Things Pop Culture Trivia Contest.

The rules are simple: no reference books, no internet searches, no help from others, nothing. All answers must come from off the top of your head. Just pretend you’re on “The Weakest Link” and the camera is trained on you. Of course, I can’t be there to enforce this, but we’re all friends here, right?

This is by no means a comprehensive test of your pop culture knowledge. But it’s stuff *I* think is important for a well-rounded pop culture background. As my friend Patti says, I was raised by the TV, so there’s a lot of TV stuff here, with some movie, book and video game stuff sprinkled in.

E-mail your answers to me by next Monday, Aug. 25.

First prize: a silver Gameboy Advance (the older one, without the backlight).
Second prize: A novelty Simpsons digital watch.
Third prize: You did see “Glengarry Glen Ross,” didn’t you?

Basic shipping in U.S. included, although if there is a tie of any kind, anyone who can actually pick up their prize will get preferential treatment. (I know that’s not fair. But it’s my contest.)

OK. Here goes. Good luck.

1. What is Jeff “The Dude” Lebowski’s favorite drink?
2. What sort of business does Ignatius Reilly work at as a file clerk?
3. Where did Dr. Nick Riviera get his surgical gloves?
4. What was Jaime Sommers’ main cover occupation?
5. What is Margot Tenenbaum’s middle name?
6. What are the bottoms of Tiggers made out of?
7. In “Fearless,” what did Jeff Bridges buy for his dead father?
8. Name two of the four lead actresses in “Clockwatchers.”
9. What does Ralph Wiggum’s cat’s breath smell like?
10. What movie star got her first big break on a “Six Million Dollar Man/Bionic Woman” reunion movie?
11. Who are the hosts of TechTV’s “The Screen Savers”?
12. What are the character names of the three sisters on “Charmed” (first and last)?
13. What is the name of the lead producer on HBO’s “Project Greenlight”?
14. On “Fawlty Towers,” what was Manuel’s pet?
15. Who was Nurse Chapel secretly in love with?
-Bonus question: What was the full name of the actress who played Nurse Chapel?
16. What was Edward Norton’s character’s name in “Fight Club”?
17. Who does the voice of Brain on “Pinky and the Brain”?
18. What is Stuart Smalley’s slogan?
19. What movie includes the line, “Who invented liquid soap and why?”
20. Whose number is 24601?
21. What school did Tootie and Natalie attend?
22. What holiday did Frank Costanza invent?
23. In what year is “Futurama” set?
24. Who wrote “Einstein’s Dreams”?
25. What are the two alien races in “Halo”?

Word of the Day

approbation

“Adam’s craving for approbation far outstripped his embarrassment over it.”

Northfork

I pretty much understood what they were going for here, but I just wasn’t in the mood for it. I have no idea what I’m in the mood for these days, but this isn’t it. The words somber, portentous and lyrical come to mind, and none of those words have my name on them. Beautiful photography, though, and Nick Nolte did his best to atone for his egregious “performance” in “Hulk.” Other than that, not so much.

Getting personal

I bought some new underwear today. I like it.

“Have you ever noticed that everything you sit on feels like underpants?”

-Scott Adams, Dilbert

The giant power blackout in the northeast reminded me of “The Trigger Effect,” a movie about an extended blackout in the Los Angeles area. It’s fairly cheesy (the cast includes Kyle MacLachlan and Elisabeth Shue, for god’s sake), but it’s still an interesting look at how thin the veneer of society really is. Take away something as central as power for more than a few days, and things could get ugly pretty quickly. Worth a rental.

Bob Roberts – bonus post

Talking about Gore Vidal reminded me of The Simpsons (although, to be fair, pretty much everything reminds me of The Simpsons, as my friend Michele is fond of pointing out).

Marge: So, did you call any of your friends?
Lisa: Friend? [scoffs] These are my only friends.
[holds up a book]
Grownup nerds like Gore Vidal, and even he’s kissed more boys than I ever will.
Marge: Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.

Bob Roberts

This political mockumentary from the Gulf War I era is about as subtle as a sledgehammer. But Tim Robbins’ story of the folk-singing right winger running for Senate is sharply written, has tons of fun cameos, and reminds us how similar the issues and climate were then to today’s insanity. (When a newscaster started talking about “Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction,” I nearly did a spit take.)

This movie is eerily appropriate in the age of Dubya and Ah-nuld. Gore Vidal is especially good as dejected liberal Sen. Brickley Paiste, trying to fight the good fight against Roberts’ crowd-pleasing folk-singing fascism.

Highly recommended. And don’t miss the deleted scenes on the DVD edition – there’s a lot of meat there that didn’t make it into the final cut.