I think everyone has certain people and things that connect them to the world. Anchors. My mother was one of those people for me – probably the most important one. Strange how that happens; I’m a grown man and I have my own life, such as it is. But she was this unblinking constant, always there, whether I wanted her to be or not. 
I kid, because we had an amazing relationship. We shared a sense of humor that I think was unique to the two of us. And if it was even possible we grew closer in the last year, filling in the gaps for each other.
And now she’s just gone. There are times, like tonight, that I look around and I don’t recognize the world. I can’t make sense of it. That anchor is pulled up and won’t ever be put back again. It’s disorienting. Everything sort of looks the same, sort of feels the same, but it’s not. I don’t understand a universe where I will never speak to her again.
I know I will figure things out, eventually. Just not tonight.