Things I Learned Watching “The Transporter”:
1. Security in French hospitals is incredibly lax.
2. If you need to get on top of a speeding semi truck, a crop duster is just the ticket.
3. Pepsi can save your life. Seriously.
4. It’s OK for a man to kiss another man, provided he’s already dead, you’re both underwater, and you need to suck the air from his lungs to survive.
5. Cotton sweaters aren’t strong enough to strangle someone. Go with synthetic.
This is a fun, energetic and action-packed movie – everything that “XXX” wanted to be but couldn’t pull off. John nailed it when he said star Jason Statham is “what Bruce Willis thinks he sees when he looks in the mirror.” Recommended – just check your brain at the door.