Phone conversation
My mother: Hello, Nana! Happy Birthday! How are you feeling?
My grandmother: I’m terrible. I want to die. And why haven’t I heard from you since you were here?
Mom: We’ve all been trying, Nana. I’ve tried to call just about every day, and I know the boys have been trying to reach you today. We never get an answer.
Nana: Well, I haven’t been answering my phone.
Mom: …That would explain it.
“MRS. RICHARDS, HAVE YOU A HEARING AID??
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO HAVE IT MENDED???”
So true. So true.
The greatest was my grandmother, who after having her cigarettes replaced with filtered ones informed my mother, “Something’s wrong with my cigarettes. I have to smoke more of them now!”