Author: Adam (Page 112 of 224)

Russian mail order brides want to meet me!

Subject: I’m interested in you

Hello
My name is Svetlana. I live in St. Petersberg and I am looking for a real relationship with a real man. I signed up with this internet service to meet good western men, I hope you are really there. Please see and write me here if you like me.

Should I be concerned that she misspelled St. Petersburg? I mean, isn’t this on the level?

Worst advertising slogan of the month

“Quik Trip – You’re going there anyway!”

And don’t even get me started on the spelling.

Word of the day: indefatigability

Just to show how bored and listless I’ve been lately, I sat down tonight and watched “Showgirls” on TNN, complete with badly-done dubbing of bad words and even worse digital undergarments pasted over all the naughty bits. (And you thought my Anna Nicole anecdotes were the worst it could get.) This has got to be the most unintentionally funny major studio production ever made. (Troll 2 was not a major studio film.) Watching Elizabeth Berkley flounce around looking like a cross between a blowup sex doll and a deranged clown with a neurological disorder was quite entertaining, I must admit. Throw in endless nail maintenance, a papier-mache volcano, and Alan Rachins from “L.A. Law” trying to rub ice on Berkley’s nipples, and you’ve got yourself a spectacle, baby.

if we instantly felt better upon taking in the words “everything is ok” it would be etched into the moon.

I read Bobby’s site and I am amazed. And I have hope for humanity. If even one person can write like that, we have hope.

The Wisconsin gubernatorial candidates, Scott McCallum and Jim Doyle, have been slinging a lot of mud lately. All the political ads they’ve been running talk exclusively about the other guy, and how he’s an evil, puppy-killing scum who’s going to ruin your life.

I think one of the best skewerings of this was on the Simpsons episode where Sideshow Bob was running for mayor of Springfield against “Diamond Joe” Quimby.

TV AD:
Mayor Quimby supports revolving door prisons. Mayor Quimby even released Sideshow Bob — a man twice convicted of attempted murder. Can you trust a man like Mayor Quimby? Vote Sideshow Bob for mayor.

I also love how everyone clucks their tongues at the negative ads, editorials decry them, and yet politicians keep doing them – because they know they work. If commercials full of kittens and rainbows got people elected, they’d use those. People say they hate the negativity, but they eat it up.

Sort of like McDonald’s.

Yes, I admit it. I watch the “Anna Nicole Show.”

Best thing about tonight’s usual round of cringe-inducing behavior? Watching Anna greet a tiny Martin Sheen backstage after they’d both appeared on the Tonight Show. Sheen, clutching some guest gifts, looked somewhat terrified, like he was Tokyo being threatened by a giant blonde Mothra.

?The people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the peacemakers for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country.?
-Herman Goering at the Nuremberg Trial

Lots of good stuff over at Liberal Slant.

For all of us who love language, a visit to The Apostrophe Protection Society is imperative. Don’t miss the examples.

I was fascinated with Sparky’s recounting of his dreams, and even told him I was a little disappointed that I rarely remember mine. And when I do, they’re pretty standard anxiety dreams that usually involve something like losing my class schedule in high school.

But then coincidentally, I found in some old files something I’d written about a dream I had. Obviously I wrote it out because I so rarely remember them, and I wanted to remember this one. So here it is:

I was this vain, good-looking movie action star. I was shooting a sort of medieval Mad Max movie, where the setting was sort of medieval but there were guns and motorcycles. There was this group of people trying to kill me because they thought my movies glorified violence. Some of them may have been extras on the movie set. I remember trying to look in a mirror because I wanted to see what I looked like, so I looked at my reflection in a window. I looked sort of like me, but a good-looking version of me. At one point I did a thing I called “running the gauntlet,” which meant riding my motorcycle down this street that was lined with screaming fans, and they were all trying to touch me and get me to talk to them. Also people had baskets that they would hold out, hoping I would toss change into them, sort of like people hoping for candy tossed to them along a parade route. Then on the set, once in a while an extra would come out of the crowd and try to attack me, and I would use karate moves to fight them off.