Back from the beyond

Author: Adam (Page 145 of 224)

Post – January 29, 2002

Two bloated self-important movies in as many nights. I need to re-evaluate my movie choices. 🙂

My main reaction to “A Beautiful Mind” is to offer to buy Jennifer Connelly a neck brace, so she will stop always cocking her head to one side, like an inquisitive deer. Memo to Jennifer, who plays mathematician John Nash’s long-suffering but really-not-suffering-all-that-much-in-the-movie wife:

The neck thing doesn’t make you look sexy or alluring. It just makes you look like you don’t understand what’s being said.

Post – January 28, 2002

Heather wrote a post about elevator etiquette, and it reminded me of something funny someone told me once. (Who am I – one of the Grimm brothers? Shut up.)

If you really want to freak out strangers with the least amount of effort possible, just face away from the door when you’re in an elevator. This works when you’re by the door, so you’re staring at everyone else, and even better when you’re in the back of the elevator, staring at the back wall.

Try it sometime.

Post – January 28, 2002

Gosford Park (an analysis)

Minutes of character development and exposition: 135
Minutes of plot: 5 (the last five)

Despite those 135 delightful minutes in the life of an English country house and its 162 inhabitants (both above- and below-stairs), I have only the barest grasp on who all those characters were, much less their names. Not exactly a home run for Robert Altman.

Post – January 27, 2002

Today Xkot linked to the Realdoll site, where they sell realistic-looking full-size silicon sex dolls for $6,000-$7,000, depending on “features.” (Don’t blame me for American culture, people.) The “frequently-asked questions” page is particularly fascinating. Here are some of my favorites (you can make up your own answers for extra entertainment):

-Does the silicon flesh have a foul odor or flavor?
-Tell me more about Realdoll’s breasts.
-Do you sell body parts separately?

and the best one, by far:

-What is your return policy?

Post – January 25, 2002

Soon after I moved into my apartment on Ashford Lane, off the Beltline on Madison’s south side, a woman was strangled to death in an apartment nearby. My friends joked that I should have waited longer to begin my murderous rampage in the neighborhood.

Well, I’ve lived on Lake Monona for three years, so I think I’m off the hook for this. Especially because I have a fear of falling through the ice myself.

Post – January 24, 2002

Today I found myself checking the Blogger page, actually wondering, “Will Ev be releasing Blogger Pro today?” (see yesterday’s post) I guess years of getting the rug pulled out from under you will do strange things to your psyche.

Someone should do a weblog equivalent of David Letterman’s Oprah Log, where Dave details his non-existent contacts with the talk show diva.

Day 1
1/23/02
No Blogger Pro.

Day 2
1/24/02
Still no Blogger Pro.

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