Category: BBBB (Page 3 of 3)

People keep sending me pics

Miguel alerted me to the “Celebrity Goth” page linked above, since it includes those spawns of Satan, the Olsen twins.

Which reminded me of a story.

Last week, I was at my mother’s house since she had graciously agreed to fix her famous pot roast. We always watch “Wheel of Fortune” when I’m there, right before dinner, and one puzzle answer happened to be “Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen” (under the misleading category of “Family,” but that’s another rant).

She asked me who they were, and I told her they were annoying twin girls who used to be on the regrettable sitcom “Full House,” and now were annoying teens with their own magazine and etc.

Since my mother had just seen a piece on “60 Minutes” about piercing and tattooing and was horrified by it, her immediate response was, “Teenage girls! Heh. They probably have lots of piercings.”

“Probably not, Mom,” I said, the voice of pop culture reason. “Their whole image is of sweetness and light.”

She thought about this for a second and then retorted, “Well, they probably have them anyway. They’re just hidden.”

I love my mom.

A Christmas Story
My mother set out some small candy dishes on Christmas Eve, containing those red and green M&Ms they sell this time of year. I took a couple of them and they tasted sort of chalky. I told my mother about this, and she said, “Well, maybe it’s because they were in the freezer.”

“In the freezer?” I said. “Why did you put them in the freezer? They have a candy shell, after all.”

“Well, they’re from two years ago,” she said, with a straight face.

So my mother had purchased this $3 bag of holiday M&Ms in 1999 (!) and stretched them out for the following three (!) Christmases. She probably spent more on electricity to keep them frozen than she would have if she had bought a fresh bag. Live and learn.