Category: words mean things (Page 100 of 223)

The menu for tomorrow

Cream cheese, cocktail sauce and crab appetizer
Cheese plate
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Brined (!) fresh turkey
Roasted Yukon Gold potatoes with garlic
Green beans with almonds
Cornbread and sausage stuffing
Rolls
Cranberry chutney
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Apple crisp and cinnamon ice cream

I missed most of “The West Wing” tonight, since Jesse and I were watching the aggressively incomprehensible “Ring 0” and I forgot to set the VCR. But I watched the end, and I gathered that Toby Ziegler and the new speechwriter, Will Bailey, were talking about Bartlet’s second inaugural address. Toby made a point that there’s a great tradition of memorable second inaugural speeches.

People have all kinds of dreams. I don’t necessarily dream of writing a presidential inaugural address. But I would love, one day, to have the talent necessary to write one.

People who know me know I’m extremely picky about movie theaters. The slightly-out-of-focus thing (Hi Melissa!) makes me want to spray the projection booth with bullets. I can’t stand the poorly-named “UltraScreen” because the 35mm negative can’t survive being blown up that big, and it ends up looking like grainy 8mm home movies. I don’t like the seats at Star Theater because they remind me of a Disneyland ride. Stuff like that.

Well I’ve always disliked the Orpheum downtown, even though it’s a fantastic old-style theater. The sound is epically poor, and now they have a cafe in the lobby and at night you can often hear patrons and music from the back of the theater.

Well, John and Matt and Sparky and I went to see “Punch-Drunk Love” there tonight. The dialogue was so muffled it nearly drove me insane, and the print looked like it had been dragged across a concrete floor by monkeys. And to top it off, Sparky had some kind of maintenance porthole right at his feet (above a broken seat, no less). While it wasn’t a portal into another dimension – that I would have supported – it revealed some sort of nasty subfloor covered in trash. A moviegoing experience to treasure.

Another reason why “Television Without Pity” recaps are better than the shows themselves

The Bachelor
Previously: Elizabeth Cady Stanton rolled over in her grave and muttered, “Why did I even bother?”

Getting paid rocks.

Here’s to more of it.

To commemorate today’s signing of the Homeland Security Act, complete with fun stuff like new exemptions to the Freedom of Information Act, I thought I would reprint one of my favorite bits of movie dialogue, from “A Man For All Seasons.” Thomas More and his son-in-law, Will Roper, are discussing the slimy opportunist Richard Rich:

More: And go he should, if he were the devil himself, until he broke the law.
Roper: So now you’d give the devil benefit of law!
More: Yes. What would you do? Cut a great road through the law to get to the devil?
Roper: Yes! I’d cut down every law in England to do that.
More: Oh? And when the last law was down and the devil turned round on you – where would you hide, Roper, the laws all being flat? This country is planted thick with laws, from coast to coast, man’s laws, not God’s, and if you cut them down – and you’re just the man to do it – do you really think you could stand upright in the winds that would blow then? Yes, I’d give the devil benefit of law – for my own safety’s sake.

We’re cutting a great road through the law to get to the devil. The only problem is, we’re not sure who the devil is.

Last night, I played the demo version of Tom Clancy’s “Splinter Cell” game on my Xbox. (I just realized, that’s a great search engine shill sentence. Go me!) It’s very cool, reminiscent of one of my favorite PC games, “Thief.” And this morning, my dreams were full of night vision goggles, surveillance cameras, picking locks, and sneaking past Russian guards.

I hope if I play “Crash Bandicoot,” I won’t start dreaming about being an orange marsupial jumping on crates to get apples.

The holidays make me do strange things, things I would never do under normal circumstances. Like consult those home-and-hearth magazines for Thanksgiving ideas.

But there was something in there I thought might be useful for my fellow cash-strapped computer geek types. In place of traditional Christmas gifts, burn a custom CD for each person on your list, and make a nice label or jewel box graphic to go with it.

No, I’m not changing my name to Heloise.

What is everyone doing for Thanksgiving? I’m going to have a small (very small) group over, and hopefully not nearly induce a nervous breakdown like last year (although it turned out well). What are your plans?

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

It’s almost irrelevant to review a movie like this – it’s like reviewing “Episode II.” Everyone who’s going to see it is going no matter what, and people who couldn’t care less will not be swayed by a good review. But I soldier on anyway.

It was entertaining, primarily because of Kenneth Brannagh, who ripped into the role of self-important pseudo-wizard Gilderoy Lockhart like a pit bull and didn’t let go. But it’s two hours and forty minutes long, and unlike the first one, which felt rushed at about the same length, this one feels draggy. The kids are still good, but everyone just seems to be going through the motions. And the action scenes are, I think, way too intense for younger kids. (Thousands of giant spiders at one point even freaked me out a little bit.) Maybe I would have enjoyed myself more if the group of teenage girls behind us would have shut the hell up and stopped kicking our chairs.

Ahem. Old man moment, sorry.

I have hopes for the third installment, to be directed by Alfonso Cuaron, whose “A Little Princess” is thought to be one of the best children’s movies ever. His sensibility is certainly more offbeat and less commercial than Chris Columbus’.

This isn’t a bad movie. But it could have been so much more.