Category: words mean things (Page 107 of 223)

I’m thinking of redesigning my business site. I had a potential client tell me she couldn’t figure out how to subscribe to the newsletter, even though it’s right there in the righthand column. That got me thinking that maybe I should go with a white-background, minimalist, almost-all-text design. I advocate it, so I should take my own advice.

I don’t really want to redesign this page, though. I like it.

“Barking Up The Wrong Tree” Spam E-mail of the Month

FROM: The Super Special Sales
TO: Friend
SUBJECT: Friend, Show your support for George W. Bush!

There are so many things wrong with that, I don’t know where to begin. This is all probably because of my dad. After all, elephants never forget.

A JOKE (stop me if you’ve heard this one):

Two elephants are standing in a jungle clearing, both wearing party hats. Around them is strewn the remnants of birthday party decorations – horns, banners, confetti, etc.

Elephant #1: “Wow, that was a great party. I can’t remember when I had a better time. ….Of course, that’s just a figure of speech.”

Have you seen the toilet paper commercial that consists of close-ups of various people wagging their (thankfully clothed) asses in your face? Set to the jaunty music? Where they are all smiling and engaged in fun activities like bowling and dancing and gamboling on the beach? Except, with the ass closeups?

Kill me. Kill me now.

My favorite “100 Things About Me” post of all time
(courtesy of Melissa)

84. Once, I met Jason Alexander in Hawaii. He was wearing a fanny pack. It was kind of sad.

You ever have one of those days? One of those days where everything and everyone you come into contact with pisses you off royally? Where if one more person says one sideways thing to you, you’re going to beat them senseless with a bag of oranges? Where you marvel at the stupidity of the world with a white-hot intensity?

I’m just asking.

Spreading the love

Great redesigns at Lavender Kitchen and Hideous Kinky. Lots of soothing fall-ish colors. Be sure to check out Melissa’s gallery.

My most coherent thought coming out of “The Rules of Attraction” was, “What the hell was that?”

Unlike some other truly epic stinkers, I think there was a movie in there somewhere. But it was buried under an avalanche of overdone “technique,” fake irony and strange underwritten scenes that ambled along forever, looking for a place to land. (Let’s just say Swoosie Kurtz must have had some bills to pay.) I must say I enjoyed watching James Van Der Beek peel away that inane teen dream smile to reveal the smarmy, scowling speed freak we all knew was under there all along. But with no script to speak of, it’s a ride that goes nowhere – and not nearly fast enough.

One of the things that disturbs me the most about the current “Damn You, Saddam!” culture is its incredible hypocrisy. (link stolen shamelessly from blee bloo blar BLOG!)

Words mean things.

One thing the world needs is a really good online reverse dictionary. I would funnel U.S. weapons development money into this effort. Today, when I was trying to think of the word that meant “person who flees political persecution to another country,” I tried Casey’s Snow Day Reverse Dictionary, which didn’t work. If anyone knows of a good reverse dictionary out there, please clue me in. Thanks.

Things I Learned Watching “The Transporter”:

1. Security in French hospitals is incredibly lax.
2. If you need to get on top of a speeding semi truck, a crop duster is just the ticket.
3. Pepsi can save your life. Seriously.
4. It’s OK for a man to kiss another man, provided he’s already dead, you’re both underwater, and you need to suck the air from his lungs to survive.
5. Cotton sweaters aren’t strong enough to strangle someone. Go with synthetic.

This is a fun, energetic and action-packed movie – everything that “XXX” wanted to be but couldn’t pull off. John nailed it when he said star Jason Statham is “what Bruce Willis thinks he sees when he looks in the mirror.” Recommended – just check your brain at the door.