Back from the beyond

Category: words mean things (Page 216 of 223)

Post – November 13, 2000

Learning nutrition with The Simpsons:
Homer’s horoscope predicts he will die today. At the dinner table, he takes one bite of broccoli and keels over dead.
Dr. Hibbert (zipping up body bag): Another broccoli-related death!
Marge: But I thought broccoli was…
Dr. Hibbert: …one of the DEADLIEST vegetables in the world. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste!

Post – November 3, 2000

So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that with a mega-hyped live action movie starring Jim Carrey coming out, the Grinch is being used to hawk Nabisco snacks and god knows what else. But the final straw for me came in a commercial which ended with the line,
“Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store…..BUT IN CASE WE’RE WRONG, THERE’S VISA!”
We’re doomed.

Post – October 30, 2000

Tipper falls on her sword for all our sakes: (by way of Salon)
Voters in the state who aren’t necessarily excited by the thought of seeing Gore for years to come got a clear message from the vice president’s wife at a later Michigan stop. There, Tipper Gore addressed the problems some voters may have with her husband’s personality. “It’s not ‘The Dating Game,'” she said, stressing that Gore’s major selling point is his experience. “You don’t have to fall in love with Al Gore. I did that.”

Post – October 23, 2000

Not going to vote for Nader but wish I was quote of the day:
“Bush is essentially and generally and fundamentally nothing more than a corporation running for president disguised as a human being.”
-Ralph Nader, by way of Salon

Post – October 20, 2000

Learning mental health issues with The Simpsons:
Miss Hoover: “You see, class, my Lyme disease turned out to be (spelling on the board) P-S-Y-C-H-O-S-O-M-A-T-I-C.”
Ralph: “Does that mean you’re crazy?”
Student 2: “No, that means she was faking it.”
Miss Hoover: “Actually, it’s a little of both.”

Post – October 14, 2000

One of the most disturbing exchanges from the last presidential debate was watching Dubya’s eyes light up when he thought of executing the three men convicted of a racially-motivated murder in Texas. “You can’t make the punishment any more severe once they’re dead!” he exclaimed with thinly veiled glee. Even people who support the death penalty should surely not take pleasure in ending another person’s life. And that’s all I have to say about that.

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