Gigli
Simply put, this is a movie struggling to exist. Without Ben and Jen to attempt to hold it down, it would have evaporated from the film stock like a Kleenex in a hurricane.
Even more tragically for those actually sitting through it, the movie’s not even bad enough to be entertaining (although Affleck’s preening in a wife-beater before the bathroom mirror, his painted-on tattoos rippling, comes close). It’s just two long hours of indistinct *stuff*. I barely remember it, and I walked out of the theater a half hour ago.
Just after the movie started, a middle-aged woman came in alone and sat a few seats over from me and my friend Amanda. When the woman got up and left at about the half hour point, Amanda bet me $2 that the woman was walking out for good; I bet she was just going to the bathroom.
I owe Amanda $2.
You can’t walk out on Gigli! Gigli is a commitment to be made! Did she think it was going to be good???
Hey. . .I thought it was $5!
Kidding aside, Gigli does provide a good remedy for insomnia. Perhaps that woman got her money’s worth. Lest you think I jest, see it yourself. No one else has.