I saw this page originally via Ultramundane, and I debated for quite a while whether to post it. But it’s so amazingly funny and perceptive, I couldn’t resist. (Plus, my wise friend Lisa laughed heartily and wasn’t offended, and she in fact urged me to post it. So if anyone is offended, please blame her. 🙂
There’s actually lots of other interesting stuff on this site too, such as the FUQ (Fictitious Unasked Questions). I also like “Fred Wanted to Ski.” Let me know what you think.
Yes, blame Lisa – that’s your answer to everything, isn’t it? Shouldn’t you just blame knaH?
I do find one aspect missing, however. If I might take the liberty . . .
Me: What if I just left town, without kissing Hank’s ass?
John: Then Hank will come find you and kick your ass.
Me: What if I had left this morning, before you came to see me and tell me about Hank?
John: Then he still would find you and kick your ass.
Me: That doesn’t seem right. Why should he kick my ass if I never even heard of him?
John: It’s your fault that you never heard of him. Or possibly your parents. Hank founded this town, so originally everybody knew about Him. But some people just didn’t like Hank, and never told their kids about Him. Because these are your relatives, Hank says that you are to blame, and therefore deserve to have your ass kicked.
Lisa: Brilliant! Thanks. You should contact the “Hank” author and collaborate with him.
Me: I hear Hank also came into Town disguised as his own son, then had himself murdered to pay off the rent we all owe him for living in his Town (even though he put us here and won’t let us leave).
John: How true!
Mary: No greater love!
Me: Hank is one crazy bastard.