My favorite “100 Things About Me” post of all time
(courtesy of Melissa)

84. Once, I met Jason Alexander in Hawaii. He was wearing a fanny pack. It was kind of sad.

You ever have one of those days? One of those days where everything and everyone you come into contact with pisses you off royally? Where if one more person says one sideways thing to you, you’re going to beat them senseless with a bag of oranges? Where you marvel at the stupidity of the world with a white-hot intensity?

I’m just asking.

Spreading the love

Great redesigns at Lavender Kitchen and Hideous Kinky. Lots of soothing fall-ish colors. Be sure to check out Melissa’s gallery.

My most coherent thought coming out of “The Rules of Attraction” was, “What the hell was that?”

Unlike some other truly epic stinkers, I think there was a movie in there somewhere. But it was buried under an avalanche of overdone “technique,” fake irony and strange underwritten scenes that ambled along forever, looking for a place to land. (Let’s just say Swoosie Kurtz must have had some bills to pay.) I must say I enjoyed watching James Van Der Beek peel away that inane teen dream smile to reveal the smarmy, scowling speed freak we all knew was under there all along. But with no script to speak of, it’s a ride that goes nowhere – and not nearly fast enough.

One of the things that disturbs me the most about the current “Damn You, Saddam!” culture is its incredible hypocrisy. (link stolen shamelessly from blee bloo blar BLOG!)

Words mean things.

One thing the world needs is a really good online reverse dictionary. I would funnel U.S. weapons development money into this effort. Today, when I was trying to think of the word that meant “person who flees political persecution to another country,” I tried Casey’s Snow Day Reverse Dictionary, which didn’t work. If anyone knows of a good reverse dictionary out there, please clue me in. Thanks.

Things I Learned Watching “The Transporter”:

1. Security in French hospitals is incredibly lax.
2. If you need to get on top of a speeding semi truck, a crop duster is just the ticket.
3. Pepsi can save your life. Seriously.
4. It’s OK for a man to kiss another man, provided he’s already dead, you’re both underwater, and you need to suck the air from his lungs to survive.
5. Cotton sweaters aren’t strong enough to strangle someone. Go with synthetic.

This is a fun, energetic and action-packed movie – everything that “XXX” wanted to be but couldn’t pull off. John nailed it when he said star Jason Statham is “what Bruce Willis thinks he sees when he looks in the mirror.” Recommended – just check your brain at the door.

I’m enjoying the new season of “Alias,” but mostly for Lena Olin and in spite of the rest of it. I’m loving the Lecter-like scenes between Sydney and her mother, and I could watch that steely stare of Olin’s for hours. But the rest of the show just seems way over-the-top for me. Was it always like this and I just didn’t notice? The Siberia snow caves stuff from this week was just too much – with Syd in a stylish parka, her lipstick impeccable and a few stray ice crystals adhering daintily to her cheek. (Falling through the ice is one of my phobias, too, so that didn’t help.)

My other main problem – and I know this is stupid because, after all, it’s episodic TV about spies – is Sloane. After about the 15th time that Syd appeared to be a traitor to SD-6 but was exonerated at the last moment, I think he would have caught on. He is a smart guy – he’s the head of a giant crime syndicate, after all. And if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck… It’s just getting to be too much. She doesn’t have to be almost exposed every week in order to make the show exciting.

Whatever happens, I’ll still be watching, as long as Lena Olin is staring back at me.

Sat out on the patio of my building for a large part of the afternoon today, reading Bill Bryson’s “The Lost Continent” (thanks to John’s recommendation). It’s funny and wry and biting, and while it takes some on-the-edge-of-cheap shots at small-town America, they’re mostly of the “it’s funny because it’s true” variety.

“I never felt insulted when he came to europe and made fun of Europe, because he was write!”
-from an Amazon comment on the book

I realized I don’t talk about books much, if ever, on this page. I want to read more this fall and comment about it here. A man does not live by Anna Nicole alone. What books have you all read recently? Looking for some good recommendations.

I’ve just learned that someone has created something called “Jackass: The Movie.”

I give up.