I love “Alias.” Jennifer Garner kicks ass, and it’s nice to see someone whose most important previous work was as Girlfriend #2 in “Dude, Where’s My Car?” turn out to be an engaging actress who can handle comedy, action and pathos. Can’t wait to see who they cast as Sydney’s mother when she inevitably turns up.

But here’s my big unanswered plot question about the show – maybe someone out there knows the answer. What role did her father play in recruiting her into SD-6? He must have known by then that it was an evil organization, so why would he allow his daughter to be drawn into it?

I know, there are much more important questions to be considered in this life. But those make my head hurt.

Learning about Eastern mysticism with The Simpsons

Apu: I used to think karma was baloney, but now I’m not so sure.
Homer: Mmmmm……caramel baloney!

Spider-Man

I was surprised by how low-key and downbeat it was. It was something of a parable about how being an adult sucks – you have to make hard decisions, the world is an unpredictable and dangerous place, and you put yourself on the line when you care about someone. But because it dealt so much with the angst factor (as well done as it was), it lacked some of the juice, the fun you expect from a superhero movie. Not knowing anything about the comic, I don’t know if that’s the tone of the source material as well. But if you’re expecting a fun romp, be slightly warned.

The high point was definitely Tobey Maguire as the webslinger. I’m so glad they didn’t cast some pretty boy teen idol (Freddie Prinze Jr. anyone?). His expressiveness peeks out from his placid face in a way that’s wonderful to watch.

I would definitely like to see a sequel or two. But lighten it up a little next time, OK?

Instead of braving the crowds at “Spider-Man” last night, I watched “2001: A Space Odyssey” on DVD. It’s fascinating for any number of reasons, but it struck me this time that this is a movie that could never be made today. No studio would back it. It’s too slow, it’s too long, there’s very little dialogue and even less plot. Nothing is explained in the end. It’s an effects-heavy movie with no stars to carry it. It’s a space movie that starts with an extended dialogue-free sequence about prehistoric man.

But despite all these “faults,” it’s one of the most mind-expanding experiences on film. You could probably watch it 100 times and get something different from it each time.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m still going to see “Spider-Man.” But it’s nice to know that there are movies like “2001” to balance things out.

Ratbots!

At last, I have the technology to make all my evil dreams of world domination come true! Muwhahahaha!

If you had your life to live over again, is there anything you would do differently? I’m not talking about what you had for breakfast or the color of your new car. Big stuff. Important stuff. Any time where you turned right when you should have turned left at a major life intersection? And if you changed those things, how exactly would your life have changed?

Best Blogger Quote Ever

“Asking Blogger to Post & Publish is like looking at my Pepsi Twist can and asking it to perform a miracle.”

–Tuesday

Even by “60 Minutes” standards, last weekend’s piece on Canada as a terrorist haven was outrageously stupid and biased. The premise was, Canada is a potential terrorist hotbed because of its lax immigration policies and its large immigrant (read: Moslem) population. And watch out – those terrorists could be using Canada as a staging ground for more attacks on the North Americans that matter!

In addition to being incredibly xenophobic, the piece was laughably hypocritical. As one Canadian official finally pointed out, all the 9/11 hijackers were living in the United States at the time, with up-to-date papers.

The graphic for the piece was a Canadian flag with smeared Arab faces peeking through it. I’m not making this up. I kept thinking that Stan, Kyle and Cartman were going to pop onstage and sing “Blame Canada!”

We live in strange times.

I’ve talked about “Trading Spaces” before on this page. It’s a strange yet compelling show on TLC where neighbors redecorate each other’s houses, mostly with horrifying results.

I usually only watch the last ten minutes of the show, since I don’t care to watch them stitch throw pillows from burlap. I just want to see the befores and afters, and watch the reactions of the people as their “new” rooms are unveiled.

Well, today they aired the best “Trading Spaces” ever, bar none. As is custom, the couple were led into their new living room, which in this case had nasty brown paint scored with white lines. All their furniture was covered in dark brown slipcovers. The husband was heard to say about the new room, “Looks like just a lot of firewood to me.” The wife covered her face and strangled out, “I have to leave the room now.”

Then the stunned host and the shocked husband stood mute in front of the camera, as the mike picked up the sounds of the wife sobbing in the other room.

Now that’s compelling television.

Dubious TV scheduling achievements

Tonight on ABC, the two-hour finale of “The Bachelor” (where a man picks over a bevy of attractive single women to find his betrothed) will be followed by a special report on “Primetime Live” about failing marriages, with heavy use of hidden camera footage.