Is it just me, or does anyone else find Owen Wilson’s nose oddly fascinating?

Memo to producers of “Friends”:
You rode the Monica and Chandler relationship arc into the ground, and it appears you’re willing to do the same with the Ross/Rachel baby plot (unless Ross really isn’t the father, and you’re planning to trick us again, which would be mean). As my alter ego Chandler would say, could another sitcom baby plot be any more lame? At first I thought this would be a good way for Ross and Rachel to finally get back together for good, but they’ve both become so unlikable in the last year or so, I realized I didn’t want to see a whole season about them.

How about this – use this season to focus on your most overlooked characters: Phoebe and Joey. As the only two likeable characters left among the six, we deserve a little more time with them. Lisa Kudrow especially has done some amazing work sandwiched between the “A” plots – remember her fake seduction of Chandler? Fantastic. And I don’t mean a relationship storyline; just give them some interesting, funny stuff to do. Make this your last season, and make it good.

Thanks for your time.

Waredevil is a new web site update service, designed for people who don’t want to hire a full-time web designer. Wait, isn’t that what I do? And their lowest-price package, for fewer than 10 updates a month, is $499/month.

Excuse me…I need to call some clients and renegotiate.

Xkot created a new entry page for his forum, outlining some basic common sense rules of conduct for his online community. It’s an eloquent and beautifully simple document about how to act online (and in real life, for that matter). Go there now. As the inimitable George Costanza once said, “We’re living in a society!”

I love “The West Wing.” I really do. And maybe what they said last night will have an impact – that would be great. But it didn’t really advance the cause of those, like me, who defend the show when others call it preachy. That was the preachiest hour of TV I’ve about ever seen. It was even set up like a classroom, with the kids lobbing softballs at Josh Lyman and Toby Ziegler so they could hit them out of the park. (I would have enjoyed watching Stockard Channing’s first lady talk nonetheless, but I got a phone call from my brother in Florida.) I agree with Moira (who doesn’t even like the show) that the best thing they could have done is just gone on with the show’s regular arc. “Very Special Episodes” are for After School Specials – let’s leave them there.

Apparently I’m the only person in the universe who likes both the “Enterprise” theme song and the images that go with it. I’m more attached to the images, though, and everyone seems to hate the song the most. So, maybe we could compromise and find a different song to go with the images. As if it was any of our decision.

My eyes! My eyes!

This is my entry in the Hidden City Halloween contest. But I’m worried that the grey “hidden” may be too dark. Can you see it? It’s the darkest web grey next to black, I think, but I can definitely see it. Let me know if you can see it – obviously it’s meant to signify “hidden.” (Suey will be pleased to know that I prefer the British spelling of “grey.”)

Sean Hartigan, husband of Holy Empress of the Universe Haidi, has some great writing on his site, Ulro Jr. So I was extremely pleased when he mentioned “words mean things” on it. (thanks to Haidi for alerting me to this) Sean says John Locke maintained that words don’t mean things. Well, we’re all entitled to our opinions – even 17th century English empiricist philosophers.

Everyone, from the President on down, says we are at war.

We are not at war.

War is something nations do. As far as I know, a nation didn’t do this thing. “War” is a dangerous and inflammatory word, and we should think twice before throwing it like we have been. This is not a war.

Hendrik Hertzberg wrote in The New Yorker:
“The metaphor of war – and it is more metaphor than description – ascribes to the perpetrators a dignity they do not merit, a status they cannot claim, and a strength they do not possess. Worse, it points toward a set of responses that could prove futile or counterproductive….How do you take “massive military action” against the infrastructure of a stateless, compartmentalized “army” of fifty, or ten times fifty, whose weapons are rental cars, credit cards, and airline tickets?….A more useful metaphor than war is crime. The terrorists of September 11th are outlaws within a global polity.”

The priority is, find out who did this and where they are. But making war against nations that may have helped this group is not the issue. Think about it this way – if this was done by a group of American fanatics trying to avenge Waco or Ruby Ridge, would we be saying we were “at war” with them? Words mean things.

I sort of like Oreos better when they’re just a little stale and soft. In case you were wondering.