Jon Stewart at The Daily Show has done it again. While I christened GWB the “pseudo-president,” he has done me one better by coming up with the perfect moniker for Dick Cheney: “President Vice-President.” That’s classic. So from now on, I will refer to him as PVP Cheney. Words mean things.

Have you noticed that it’s always called a ‘moonroof’ now, not a ‘sunroof’? Or are these two different things and no one told me? If not, why the overwhelming change to the moon? Is it more romantic or something? No implications of skin cancer from the moon, after all. Maybe that’s it. These things puzzle me.

I am a Blog of the Day. I am pleased.

Jon-Jon is shutting down his blog. This comes at a weird time, since I’ve been finding my inspiration stockpile to be a little low these days as well. I’m still enjoying it, but I guess I’m just at a low biorhythmic ebb or something. Which is especially weird since I’m feeling good, the weather is wonderful, and things in general are going well.

I’m going to go outside and sit on the deck overlooking the lake and try to recharge. See you later.

Rosie O’Donnell gives me the heebie-jeebies, and I can’t even explain why, exactly. My friend Wendy asked me to tape the Rosie show today, since much of both Survivor casts would be on it. I took this as an excuse to sit down and watch the entire thing. I guess what bothers me most about the show is Rosie’s compulsion to foist gifts on everyone within shouting distance – she gives guests big gifts, and has fake contests for audience members so they too can bask in the splendor of Rosie’s beneficence, clutching a camcorder or Tivo as they go back to their seats. To me, this just seems like a case of ‘you won’t like me unless I give you gifts.’ It also reminds me of an interview I read with Oprah, the woman who loves to buy houses for close friends and send her entire audience on vacation, who said that if a friend ever actually asked for something, she would be offended. People who give gifts as a way to control others are extremely troubled – and that’s all I have to say about that.

Funniest moment from the Rosie show: a montage of Colby, mainly shirtless, with “I Honestly Love You” playing in the background.
Moment that makes you go “Hmmmmm….”: Tina’s hand rarely left Colby’s knee during her entire interview.

NEWS FLASH: The American way of life is a blessed one, which evidently means God wants us Yanks to use as much gas as we can get our grubby, SUV-driving hands on. Hallelujah!

In line with my general self-improvement kick lately, I’ve taken to walking 3 miles around my neighborhood every day. It’s been great, and I’ve been enjoying myself. So yesterday I’m in the home stretch, and on the opposite sidewalk I see a teenage girl pushing a baby carriage. I’m walking as fast as I can push myself, while she’s ambling along, pushing the pram, casual as can be. We’re even. I keep pushing, but we stay even. I’m getting a little peeved, so I try hard to pass her, doing everything but break into a run. Meanwhile, she’s strolling along like she’s on the boardwalk at Atlantic City. We’re still dead even! Finally, after two blocks, I give up and stop, just enough to let her rocket on past so I don’t feel too embarrassed that I’m still trying to keep up.

God I’m old.

Russian color photography from 90 years ago. Incredible. Fantastic. (via memepool) I guess I shouldn’t feel so smug anymore venturing out with my fancy digital camera.

My horoscope for today:
You have lots of things on your mind. Some of them you’ll want to talk about, some you won’t. The best person for you to be with today is someone who can talk, listen and basically just love you.

Hello? Anyone out there? If so, can you come over about 7:30?

When I go, I want to have something like the one on the left, not the one on the right. Keep that in mind, OK? Thanks.