The new marketing slogan for the Tumbleweed southwestern grill restaurant chain is, “You need the Weed.” (I’m not kidding – although you would think they are.) The fact that the TV commercial shows a “doctor” writing out a “prescription” for the “weed” doesn’t make things any better.

My new favorite political term: shadow president

My brother has been bugging me to put something up on my web site about him. Why, I really don’t know. Imagine my surprise to find that he’s already achieved a certain measure of internet notoriety. He told me yesterday he plans to begin a new career as “Campfire Bob,” going to children’s parties and corporate retreats, singing songs, telling scary stories and roasting marshmallows over his portable campfire. Yes, the entire family needs professional help.

It’s been fascinating to watch the morning shows code-word their way through covering Dick Cheney’s latest heart problems. Cheney is “the most powerful vice president in recent history,” he’s “the president’s most trusted advisor.” On The Early Show, the graveness of the situation even prompted them out of code-word territory – “Many believe George W. Bush needs an enormous amount of help finding his way around Washington.” It’s hilarious to hear journalists, who gave GWB a pass during the election, now hinting around at their perhaps belated realization that if Cheney dies, an idiot will be left holding the bag.

If Walter Mondale, GB Sr. or even Al Gore had gone into the hospital for heart troubles in the first few months of their administrations, would that be enough to bump a multiple school shooting from the top of the news?

Followup: precautionary measures

Learning ethics with The Simpsons:
Homer: “It takes two to lie, Marge. One to lie, and one to listen.”

You would think that Sen. Robert Byrd, a former Klan member, would already know that words mean things.

In some ways I’m the ultimate anti-consumer. I laugh at advertisers’ pitiful attempts to influence me; I hate shopping; I want to buy something and have it last for years. I had my last car for 9 years and fully expect my present chariot to last me at least as long. But perhaps the most insidious way I’ve become an anti-consumer is that the thrill most people get from buying new things, I get from throwing things away (or giving them to St. Vincent’s – I’m not a wastrel). I was cleaning out some storage areas today and it felt great. I feel lighter and freer with every unnecessary thing that goes into the trash.

The mall police are on my trail.

Who would have thought the New Yorker would publish the definitive treatise on french fries? As it happens, I was at McDonald’s today, and I can tell you there’s nothing better than McDonald’s fries straight from the fryer. The converse, of course, is also true (sadly).

“Bravo, Max. Love, Mom.” A minor classic, and with recent viewing on the Criterion DVD, shot up into my personal Top 20. Amazing and worth repeated viewings.

I’ve been meaning to highlight The Complete Bushisms, a sort of GWB weblog on Slate that is in turns hilarious and chilling. His quotes on education are of special interest to me, of course. Here’s my favorite recent one to whet your appetite:

“You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.”?Townsend, Tenn., Feb. 21, 2001