This is my StorTrooper. Handsome devil, eh? Try it yourself. It’s a revealing exercise trying to match yourself up to the limited choices of an avatar. (The blue sweater isn’t in the standard set – I cheated in Fireworks)

Playing with this little Java applet really cleared my mind of the tumultuous happenings of the past week, and got me thinking about 1) how infrequently you see something on the web that feels new and fun, and 2) the many ways we represent (or obfuscate) our personalities online. But forget about all that and give it a try – and send me yours.

I don’t usually blog personal stuff, I try to make this document about words, politics and pop culture. But I just have to say, Pepto-Bismol is a miracle substance.

When I think about it, I guess I’ve just moved into product endorsement, which is definitely a pop culture topic. So there you go.

This Onion story is funny because it’s really a boldfaced treatment of what conservative Republicans actually believe.

Also, check out the photo for proof of my “smacked by an iron” hypothesis from yesterday.

Ideology matters
Something?s been bugging me about this whole John Ashcroft situation, and I only just now figured out what it was. It?s amazing to me that even Democrats on Capitol Hill are saying that ideology doesn?t matter in a cabinet appointee. If you?re (even marginally) qualified and haven?t hired an illegal alien, you?re in. Here?s your desk. Have we all bought so completely into the conservative lie that positions and convictions don?t matter, only ?character??

Would you hire a vehement anti-gun activist to manage a gun store? If the candidate said to you in the interview, ?I?m against guns personally, but that won?t interfere with my ability to sell as many as possible,? would you believe them?

But then, millions of people apparently believed that it doesn?t matter if a candidate is even remotely qualified to be the leader of the free world, or even intellectually able to string two sentences together. If he seems like a nice guy, that?s what?s important.

Is it just me, or does GWB, in every still photo ever published of him, look like he’s in some stage of getting an iron slammed into his face? The next time you see a picture of him – on the news, on the internet, wherever – think about this and tell me if I’m off base.

There’s been an important breakthrough in personal comfort (a $4.8 billion industry), ably covered by a new news aggregate site, Plastic. “Neither Jeff Bezos nor Steve Jobs could be reached for comment…”

When I was an e-mail administrator, I waged constant war against junk e-mail clogging up the mailboxes of employees, both from outside and from the employees themselves agressively forwarding everything they received. Maybe I was unreasonably harsh with people who insisted that everyone they knew share in the knowledge that Kentucky Fried Chicken was raising headless, legless chicken blobs for human consumption. But I don’t think so.

Apparently, now we even have to worry about killer sponges.

Thought I would break up the all-text monotony with a picture. Location: Bozeman, Montana. Aren’t they cute? E-mail me to find out who they are.

Anyone who’s ever seen “Iron Chef” on the Food Network will probably enjoy this parody. I love the Food Network but for some reason I just can’t get into that show. Maybe it’s because the finished dishes often look like something you fished out of a drain trap.

I’ve been reading The Diagnosis by Alan Lightman, who wrote one of my all-time favorite books, Einstein’s Dreams. ‘Diagnosis’ is a harrowing look at the technological disconnects that contemporary American society thrusts in our faces every minute of every day, unless we are diligent in combatting them. Tough going, but worth it.

Throw away your cell phone. Put your pager under the wheel of a truck. Don’t e-mail someone if you can talk to them. Turn off the TV. Lower the volume. Taste your food. Get some sleep. Read ‘The Diagnosis’ and you’ll understand.