Listening to…
“Particle Man,” They Might Be Giants
Now I’m trying to decide if I’m Particle Man, Triangle Man, Universe Man, or Person Man. Someone should make an online personality quiz on this.
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I need to stop reading these damn right-wing-nut web sites. If I don’t, I may get an ulcer or just start shooting (of course, Kim “Down with Simpering Butt-Bandits” du Toit would probably applaud that).
Is there a support group or something I can join?
Fighting the good fight
My dear friend Lisa of the currently-on-hiatus “Lisa Crankypants” called me today to tell me that right-wing radio is encouraging listeners to call the Wisconsin Legislative Hotline to support AB475, Wisconsin’s version of the “Defense of Marriage Act,” due for a vote in the state senate this week.
If you’d like to, instead, voice your displeasure about this insane act, I’d urge you to call the Hotline at 1-800-362-9472. (There’s more ideas for making your voice heard at Action Wisconsin.)
After seeing a seven-minute preview reel of the James Brolin-Judy Davis miniseries “The Reagans,” Bill O’Reilly spent about half his program last night blasting it. None of the conservative critics condemning the CBS program had actually seen it, of course. But now, after some days spent scrambling in the editing room trying to satisfy right-wingers, CBS has decided to pull the show entirely – although it may still air on Showtime.
Two things I’m sure of:
1. A big reason O’Reilly was so ticked off was that Reagan was played by married-to-consummate-evil-Barbra-Streisand James Brolin, and not Brolin’s performance.
2. If CBS was planning a hatchet job (and by this I’m not saying “The Reagans” is one) on Bill and Hillary, O’Reilly would be taping promos for it. Civility my ass.
Car wrecks
Even though they make my blood boil, I keep reading right-wing weblogs. Which reminds me of the “Doctor, my arm hurts when I do *this*!” story. These sites are like a horrifying car wreck I can’t tear my eyes away from.
A sample from the inimitable Mrs. du Toit:
“We?re at war. Support the Commander in Chief. Punch a reporter from CNN, MSNBC, or any other alphabet soup traitorous prick in the nose, or as my husband would say, kick him in the balls, really hard. Kick a peace protestor, too, or spit on one. I don’t care which.”
Here’s one from a practically salivating Dean Esmay, the neocon’s neocon:
“Indeed, I’d say one or two more September 11 size attacks, or a suitcase nuke detonated within the U.S., might well prompt an immediate return to the draft, a likely clampdown on the 1st amendment, a mass ejection of Arabs from U.S. soil, and a nationwide roundup of Muslims, that would make the ACLU pine for the good old days of the Patriot Act–and would quite possibly result in millions of dead people in the Middle East.”
These people sicken me. But I know in my heart that these people are not America. Americans are smarter, fairer, and much less angry and xenophobic than these people.
What the Democratic presidential candidates (and anyone else who cares about this country) need to do is appeal to the best in us, not the worst. Because at our best, we’re pretty damn good.
For those out there who live in the Madison area, a poll question for the comments: Who makes the best pizza in Madison, and why? (For my part, the last outstanding pizza in Madison was Sal’s on State Street, which closed a long time ago.)
Apparently in an effort to transform her magazine “Rosie” into something “edgier,” Rosie O’Donnell told editors she wanted covers featuring boxer and convicted rapist Mike Tyson, parent-killer Lyle Menendez, and actor/murder suspect Robert Blake.
You can’t make this stuff up, people.
Get Your War On says that Coke “tastes like robot sweat.” Which, while being an amazingly accurate description, doesn’t dull my love for it. (The “robot sweat” comment, if you’re looking for it, is in the long comic that stretches off the right side of the page.)
This reminds me of the episode of “Cheers” where Rebecca Howe goes to a “Stop Smoking” clinic.
Rebecca: At one point, the instructor took a lit cigarette and put it out in the yolk of a fried egg.
Woody: Did that work?
Rebecca: Well, it’s put me off fried eggs for good.
So Sen. Zell Miller (D-Georgia) has taken this moment to trash the Democratic presidential candidates with personal attacks, and announce that he will endorse George Bush in 2004. Miller told Sean Hannity that Bush “reminded me of Churchill.”
Miller just happens to be retiring from the Senate next year. He also has a new book out, “A National Party No More: The Conscience of a Conservative Democrat,” that he was shilling on “Meet the Press” this morning.
What a fucking coward.