Word of the day: titular

This afternoon I attended a movie, in the cineplex’s largest theater, where I was the only one present. (Granted, it was “The Life of David Gale,” but still.) Been a long time since that’s happened. It was fun. It felt like I had the world’s largest, fanciest home theater. Of course if I was at home, I wouldn’t have had to sit through 10 minutes of commercials.

“David Gale” is remarkable only for its utter inability to function as thriller, mystery, cautionary tale, character study, or anything else it was attempting to be. I love Laura Linney, and even she was grating to watch; Kevin Spacey was his usual smug self. Rent “Dead Man Walking” instead. I beg you.

The idiocy continues.

Memo to Congress: get back to work.

In the predictable ensuing rush to rename the Statue of Liberty, here’s my idea:

Statue of Damn You Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys

(riffing on Sparky)

Good stuff from Howard Dean

Former Vermont governor and 2004 Democratic presidential hopeful Howard Dean was on “Meet the Press” over the weekend. And despite Tim Russert’s baiting, Dean was evenhanded and forceful.

Russert: Are you giving the United Nations and, in effect, [makes a face] the French a veto over the security of the United States?
Dean: Never. Never will I do that. And that would be wrong to ever do that.
Russert: But isn?t that what you?re doing, in effect?
Dean: No. No, because the argument here is: Is the security of the United States affected by what?s going on in Iraq today? And I don?t believe it is.

and later…

Russert: Civil unions for gay couples.
Dean: Yes.
Russert: Do you believe the American people will accept that even though…
Dean: Sure.
Russert: …they may be morally opposed to accepting homosexuality as an alternative lifestyle?
Dean: I think that?well, first of all, I?m not sure you can say homosexuality is an alternative lifestyle. I think most evidence is that homosexuality is genetic. So people don?t choose a lifestyle.
Secondly, I think most people believe in equal rights under the law. What civil unions does is it says marriage is between a man and a woman but same-sex couples may enter into a civil union and have all the same legal rights as people who get married?hospital visitation, insurance, inheritance. Vermont is the only state in the country where everyone is equal under the law and I think that?s a good thing and I think most Americans believe that?s a good thing.

On Comedy Central’s “Tough Crowd” tonight, comedian Judy Gold called the war in Iraq “a war of choice.” Beautifully put. Because even if you agree with this war, you have to admit, it’s a choice we’ve made to pursue it, unlike the traditional idea that war is something thrust upon you. This war is like elective surgery – it might improve things, but there are definite risks, and the cure could very well be worse than the disease. It’s the liposuction of international relations.

What are we, in junior high school? What’s next – chanting “Fatty Fatty Boombalatty!” in front of Volkswagen dealerships?

It’s official: Salon reads my weblog.

I recently had a brief period of thinking I knew what the hell I was doing. This turned out to be an illusion.

Anyone ever read “The Sparrow” by Mary Doria Russell? My mother recommended the book to me, and I started reading it over the weekend. I’m about a third of the way through, and enjoying myself immensely. I’ll write a review when I’m finished. Good stuff, Maynard.