Signs your life is spiraling out of control:
1. You alight on a TV movie about the Osmonds, and you want to change the channel, but you can’t. It’s weirdly fascinating. The giant hair and lapels. You watch almost the entire thing, frozen in a sort of hypnotic daze.
2. You download “Paper Roses” and “Puppy Love” from Napster.
3. You admit this on your weblog.