“I would like to go to some third-world country and wash their children…But that’s just me. I’m a mercenary sort of person at heart.”
-ultraperky materialist Melissa, when asked what she would do with Joe Millionaire’s fake $50 million
Is it no wonder I love this show? The best part is that Joe/Evan obviously didn’t catch her mercenary/missionary malapropism. So they were both in the dark, making for a classic pop culture trash moment. On top of that, he picked her to stay over the earnest but pushy and clingy Mojo, even though Melissa is clearly a spoiled, shallow brat.
Amazingly, my favorite, Zora, is still in it. She’s the only one of the four (now three) remaining who doesn’t have that brittle Lancome-counter-chemical-peel-collagen look. She also appears to be a sweetheart, and understandably unimpressed with the flashy trappings of Evan’s pretend wealth.
She’s too good for him, if you ask me.
I’ve seen only two episodes. Melissa is my least favorite of the golddiggers. Maybe we’re seeing too much footage of what Evan doesn’t see, but she was a detached prima donna on the grape picking expedition, and she was a detached prima donna while cooking dinner. Could it be more obvious?
And she didn’t do any cooking, stood around looking put out, and later pronounced Evan’s dinner “dog food.” A real catch. 🙂
And that hair needs to get under control. Come on, Melissa, you’re on TV. Tame the jew-fro.
Naturally your post was the first thing that came to mind when I saw this.
OMG that’s *funny*. “Dirty-Soled Dolls”? Wow.
I cannot believe she wore the same outfit. Skank ho.
In the eternal words of Insane Clown Posse: “PTHFTHTH!! PHTOO! Fuck! Wash yo feet, bi0tch!”