The Time Machine
“That movie wasn’t about time travel at all.”
-Paul D. Harrison, Esq.
So true. In fact, this borderline crapfest managed to be about literally nothing at all. Silly and pointless, unless you absolutely have to see Jeremy Irons made up (unconvincingly) as a black-lipped albino with spina bifida.
And that makes it sound so much more interesting than it actually is.
Memo to Guy Pearce: eat a burger, fella, or you’re going to start slicing open envelopes with your cheekbones. And no one wants that.
In spite of itself, “Time Machine” does make me want to read some good science fiction about time travel and its paradoxes – anybody have any suggestions?
I recommend something I read years ago, and I still remember the plot: The Anubis Gate by Tim Powers. It resolves quite nicely some paradoxes of time travel.
I just read that myself, and I second the recommendation.
Speaking of opening envelopes with cheekbones, what is Maria Shriver up to these days? Thanks for the honest review.
Good question, Kevin. I think my all-time favorite Onion headline was “Maria Shriver’s Face Re-Sharpened.”
try Clive Barker’s Weaveworld. it has a bit of time travel in it, and a lot of surreal trippiness.
Maria Shriver, lol, you know that chick opens beer bottles with her teeth
is it even POSSBILE to re-make an old classic movie – Time Machine, Planet of the Apes, etc…??
George Pal’s TM still rocks. I’ve been kind of curious to see this one, if only because the commercial looked cool — but I didn’t expect anything spectacular story-wise. And it sounds like expectations were met.