After four hours and 15 minutes (5:45 including Barbara Walters and the pre-show) of “celebrities” and “pageantry,” a lot of things occurred to me while watching the Oscars. So here’s my unranked pop culture braindump.
-The beginning interview montage was fun, and worlds better than the Rob Lowe-Snow White type thing they usually do. But in the middle of it, I was already thinking, “OK. Let’s get on with it.”
-The Supporting Actress win for Jennifer Connelly was a shocking travesty – any of the other four women deserved it, she did not.
-Pop culture truth: Nicole Kidman is a star because of her marriage to Tom Cruise. (Sadly, this didn’t work out for Mimi Rogers.)
-My friend Paul dubbed Nicole “the mannish Nicole Kidman,” for her giant Klingon-sized forehead last night.
-If Uma Thurman turned too quickly to the right or left, she was going to put somebody’s eye out with those things. (that’s Amanda’s line – thanks, Amanda.)
-On the flip side, I covered my eyes during Gwyneth Paltrow’s stint as a presenter. If you watched the show, you know what I mean. Scary.
-They wuz robbed: Ian McKellen, Peter Jackson, LOTR. Nuff said.
-Best acceptance speech: Halle Berry, followed close on by Randy Newman. “I don’t want your pity.” Good stuff.
-The Barbara Walters special was one of the more interesting ones in memory. Halle Berry’s story (other than the “I just don’t remember the accident” stuff) was thought-provoking and told from the heart.
-Tom Cruise is gay. Get over it and move on.
-Best line written by an Oscar flack for a presenter: “Without makeup, actors and actresses would all look like people in documentaries.” -Ryan Phillippe
-Why wasn’t Will Smith in his seat when his category was being announced?
-It’s great that they have a category for Best Animated Feature now, but I’m disappointed on the flip side that that means everyone acknowledges that something like “Monsters, Inc.” will never be nominated for the “regular” best picture. Which it clearly should have been.
-Loved the little animated inserts they did for Shrek, Monsters, etc. Especially the “applauding sheepishly after losing” sequence for Sulley and Mike.
-Whoopi’s best line (not a lot to choose from): “We’ve had a national tragedy. But we’ve recovered….Mariah Carey’s already made another movie.”
-Why did so many men dress like they were playing Darrin Stevens on Bewitched for Halloween? All those black coats, plain white business shirts and plain black neckties. This is the Oscars, not a board meeting.
-Cameron Diaz looked like she just rolled out of bed in her dorm room at Clown College. And then walked into a hurricane.
-Ron Howard and “A Beautiful Mind” deserve their own separate rant. Coming soon.
All in all, it was a lackluster, long evening. What did you all think?
I held off on turning it on until the very end. I can stand to listen to people who talk about themselves only for so long. And Whoopi jinxed LOTR when broadcasting the “score.” But I don’t understand the Darrin Stevens comment.
Your thoughts pretty much mirror mine on this, Adam. It wasn’t the worst presentation I’ve seen, but just kind of dull.
I was surprised at how well they pulled off the inevitable NY tribute, though. I was expecting something maudlin, but instead got a fun couple of minutes of “name that film.”
Uma Thurman is pregnant. Your breasts get larger when you’re pregnant. Sheesh.
I was getting annoyed with Whoopi’s commentary about which movies had black people in them. How many movies had Asians/Middle Easterns/Latinos, Whoopi? Don’t know and don’t care do you, you racist bitch!
Rob: By Darrin Stevens, I just meant so many men were wearing what looked like black business suits, with white shirts and plain black ties. Maybe I should have called it the “Men in Black” look.
Sekimori: It was a crack about her plunging neckline, not her pregnancy. I like Uma, especially in “Beautiful Girls,” although I think her husband is an insufferable jerk.
Sekimori: Uma had her second child ver recently, she’s obvioulsly breast feeding. Sheesh.
Adam: I see. But a lot of fashion is going back to the classics, no? I think everyone is still in recovery of the 80’s neon.
Adam. You are fucking hilarious. yes, tom cruise is gay. gwyneth paltrow has monkey tits. cameron diaz looked like she forgot to come her hair. J-Lo looked like she was hiding people in her hair.
Phillip Harrington – please calm down. whoopi is not racist. kthxbi.
uma’s dress was ABSURD. she said he didn’t want to upstage ethan and that’s why she wore it. huh? it was all you could look at. she looked ridiculous. also, will smith wasn’t in his seat becasue he sucker punched ethan hawke after ethan made fun of his performance in ali.