Andy “Mark Twain of Our Generation” Rooney’s eyebrows are now growing so long, they droop down in front of his eyes like some sort of hairy clip-on sunglasses. Does anyone else want to reach through the TV and snip them off with pinking shears?
Memo to Andy: Yes, Andy, we’ve all noticed that they’re putting less stuff in boxes at the supermarket. We already knew that in 1988, when you did the first in your “coffee cans have less coffee” series. Your Pulitzer is in the mail.
Really, I’m not some sort of whacko harboring a deep and abiding hatred of Andy Rooney. But I must say he’s no Mark Twain.
I noticed that about his eyebrows the last time I saw him. I think maybe he uses his excess eyebrow to keep warm.
He actually stores fat in his eyebrows.
Why do you torture yourself by watching?